


MagiReco Chat Hell

by sayachaan



Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Mahou Shoujo Kazumi Magika | Puella Magi Kazumi Magica, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Being Alina Is Suffering, Being Meguca Is Suffering, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Innuendos Everywhere, Memes, Post brainwashing, Post-Canon, Texting, alina gray fucks everyone, alina is peak comedy, asunaro girls magically appeared!, because it always is, doppel references, everyone is calling each other out for being gay, innuendos, mami head jokes, mifuyu is a furry i guess, mikazuki house is happy, post eve, pre arc 2, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayachaan/pseuds/sayachaan
Summary: alina gray makes a groupchat. as you can probably guess, shenanigans will ensue.
Relationships: Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka, Akino Kaede/Minami Rena, Alina Gray/Misono Karin, Alina Gray/Tomoe Mami, Azusa Mifuyu/Alina Gray, Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko, Miki Sayaka/Tomoe Mami, Misaki Umika/Maki Kaoru, Nanami Yachiyo/Azusa Mifuyu, Nanami Yachiyo/Izumi Kanagi, Nanami Yachiyo/Izumi Kanagi/Azusa Mifuyu, Sakura Kyouko/Tomoe Mami, Satomi Touka & Hiiragi Nemu & Tamaki Ui, Subaru Kazumi/Asami Saki, Tamaki Iroha/Futaba Sana, Togame Momoko/Yakumo Mitama, Tomoe Mami/Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko, Yui Tsuruno/Mitsuki Felicia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Alina's Special Hell

**Author's Note:**

> potential spoilers ahead for jp magireco you've been warned

**AlinaGray created a new groupchat**

**AlinaGray added SatomiTouka, HiiragiNemu, TamakiIroha, and 20 others to the chat**

**AlinaGray changed 25 nicknames**

**JoJolina renamed the chat 'alina's special hell'**

**JoJolina** : fuck you all

**tsunderena** : why the fuck is this ?? what the fuck is this.

**tsunderena** : i'm not a tsundere fuck you

**Kayaygay** : I beg to differ

**missnagitan** : I am... concerned

**Yachihoe** : Aren't we all, Kanagi-chan?

**JoJolina** : lmao why would you be concerned

**homerunchan** : i will restart the timeline

**perpetualmotionmachine** : can you dont?

**moomoomercenary** : Even if you give good nicknames im still gonna make your skull go SLAM witch girl!!!!

**seyiku** : not to agree with satomi but ^^^

**JoJolina** : find me and maybe you can mitsuki

**JoJolina** : and yes alina is peak comedy

**Doka** : But Homerun-chaaan! We already killed walpurgisnacht

**tsunderena** : alina is not peak comedy

**homerunchan** : yeah that's true madoka-chan

**homerunchan** : if you don't want me to restart then i won't!

**BigSisKyouko** : hmm kinda gay

**missnagitan** : I am still concerned. What is this nonsense about timelines?

**TomoeMommy** : Kyouko-chan, everyone here is gay. You have two girlfriends.

**homerunchan** : nothing nagitan

**tsuderena** : right. explain.

**JoJolina** : akemi is gay

**Coobie** : Very gay. And I have to deal with my sister sucking face with Sana 24/7

**InvisibleGirl** : What??

**Coobie** : Even during the fucking APOCALYPSE

**InvisibleGirl** : No

**tsunderena** : bet.

**not_earoha** : Ui??? Is that you???

**Coobie** : Shit

**perpetualmotionmachine** : rena you're always sucking face with kayaygay you can't speak

**perpetualmotionmachine** : HI UI CHAN AND ONEE CHAN

**Momotiddy** : Sorry but she isnt wrong

**Kayaygay** : I'd deny this but I like seeing Rena squirm

**Coobie** : Kinky

**Kayaygay** : SHe's staring at her cell phone with absolute fury leaking out of her right now. Good job Satomi-san

**tsunderena** : SHUT THE FUCK UP KAEDE

**tsunderena** : DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK ON THE UWASA??? HUH??? IS THAT IT

**not_earoha** : Has she always been like this Touka-chan?

**Yachihoe** : I heard Uwasa.

**mifuwu** : you've awakened her.

**missnagitan** : As to be expected. Welcome to our mutual hell Yachiyo-chan

**JoJolina** : welcome to hell hoez

**mifuwu** : i'm not a furry

**moomoomercenary** : LADY IN WHITE

**seyiku** : i heard kanagi also cosplays can i see pics

**Yachihoe** : She's a maid, Miki-san

**seyiku** : nani kore

**BigSisKyouko** : sayaka you have two girlfriends

**missnagitan** : Yes I work at the local maid cafe. I would be happy to serve you

**seyiku** : brb going to kamihamiha city

**Yachihoe** : Kanagi-chan, where are you right now?

**Doka** : Wait for me Sayaka!

**homerunchan** : i'm coming with you two

**missnagitan** : Why do you wish to know?

**Yachihoe** : Because if you're not at work there's no point in those three going to see you. I'd like to save them pointless travel.

**JoJolina** : wow yachihoe is being nice thats a first

**not_earoha** : So were just going to ignore that my little sister swore. Good to be in the loop

**jessie** : Nanami-san has broken my leg before!

**jessie** : WAIT TSUKASA WHY IS MY NICKNAME

**james** : lmao

**missnagitan** : I am not currently at work however I have a shift later today

**seyiku** : ight thanks nagitan

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : THE AMANES ARE BLASTING OFF AGAIN

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : ALSO IM LATE WHATS UP

**JoJolina** : who's meowth

**JoJolina** : hi sir uno when r u joining the magius again

**perpetualmotionmachine** : onee chan this is late but i cant believe you didnt know ui chan swears(edited)

**TheSuperiorHomer** : She swears like a sailor, onee-chan.

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : IM TOO MIGHTY FOR THE MAGIUS

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** ALSO I THINK I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON

**JoJolina** : god damn it

**JoJolina** : to both statements

**Yachihoe** : That is not a 'god damn it' moment, Alina Gray.

**jessie has changed their name to AmaneTsukuyo**

**AmaneTsukuyo** : Thank you Tsukasa!

**Coobie** : Leave my sis alone she tries

**JoJolina** : fuck u ruined my fun tsukuyo

**not_earoha** : Thanks Ui. I... you really have grown up huh?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : yea

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST has changed AmaneTsukuyo's name to jessie**

**Coobie** : Being stuck as a smol coobie does that :)

**jessie** : Yui-san I will break your eardrums with my flute.

**james** : can I help

**jessie** : yes

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST:** MY EAR DRUMS ARE TOO MIGHTY FOR A MERE FLUTE

**InvisibleGirl** : Tsuruno did nothing wrong, you two are just mean!

**BigSisKyouko** : i hate the amanes, a psa by kyouko sakura

**missnagitan** : Girls I cannot condone harming Tsuruno-chan. Mainly because I would rather not be murdered in my sleep but the point still stands

**JoJolina** : im really just surprised earoha isn't angry bc ui called her out for fucking the invisible bitch

**JoJolina** : forgot her name

**not_earoha** : I cant be mad at her after what she did to protect me. That doesnt go for you

**jessie** : I wouldn't be murderig you Izumi-san. You'd probably murder me if I tried.

**moomoomercenary** : I would

**JoJolina** : you would what mitsuki

**moomoomercenary** : No one hurts Tsuruno on my watch!

**JoJolina** : oh

**JoJolina** : i fully support the amanes carrying their plan through

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : THANKS FELICIA-CHAN! ITS OKAY THOUGH ILL WIN ANYWAYS

**jessie** : Thank you for your support, Alina-san!

**james** : i dont think that was support

**InvisibleGirl** : I believe in you Yui-san!

**missnagitan** : I believe I may have just facepalmed hard enough to give myself a concussion

**tsunderena** : the amanes are dumb whats new

**JoJolina** : that's good izumi

**JoJolina** : alina is pleased that izumi has a concussion

**mifuwu** : mifuyu isn't

**Momotiddy has added chief_lesbian to the chat**

**Momotiddy** : I had to Im sorry. She had my soul gem

**chief_lesbian** : Awww dont be like that Momotiddies~

**tsunderena** : ohfuck

**Yachihoe** : Goddamnit Momoko.

**JoJolina** : ooh thisll be fun i dont even have to change her nick

**Kayaygay** : Can I leave?

**Kayaygay** : I'm scared of her

**chief_lesbian** : Don't be mean Yachiyo-chan :(

**Yachihoe** : We already have one horny lesbian in the chat do we need another?

**JoJolina** : yeah minami gtfo

**tsunderena** : WHAT

**chief_lesbian** : And dont be Kaededededede. Momotiddies will say I never hurt her :)

**tsunderena** : SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU IM NOT HORNY

**Kayaygay** : i beg to differ

**Kayaygay** : Momoko, are you ok?

**JoJolina** : I endorse this development

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : WHO IS THE HORNY ONE IM CONFUSED

**seyiku** : who is this

**BigSisKyouko** : coordinator aka peak lesbian

**TomoeMommy** : Nanami-san was referring to Alina, who I can confirm is horny, and I'm assuming that Yakumo-san is also being referred to

**JoJolina** : yeah you know mami ;)

**seyiku** : what

**BigSisKyouko** : alina

**JoJolina** : she was in my cult

**mifuwu** : sorry yachiyo

**Doka** : Please dont bring that up Alina-san. That wasnt a great time for Sayaka or Homura

**JoJolina** : i do whatever the fuck i want kaname

**homerunchan** : no you dont if it involves hurting my gf

**homerunchan** : i will snap your fingers one by one and then get sana to use her doppel on you

**InvisibleGirl** : Uh

**Yachihoe** : I condone everything except for the doppel part

**Doka** : Homura its okay dont worry

**Doka** : I was more worried about you. Im fine

**homerunchan** : im going to the store and im getting ice cream and then im comign over to your house and we are going to hug and plot a murder

**homerunchan** : madoka i love you and i dont want u hurt

**seyiku** : gay

**BigSisKyouko** gay

**TomoeMommy** : That's rude girls

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : MURDER IS GENERALLY NOT OKAY BUT I WILL ALLOW IT HERE! ALSO GAY!

**JoJolina** : bold of u to assume i wont doppel u hoez back

**homerunchan** : do you want to die.

**seyiku** : ok makiroll

**Coobie** : I would say yes but Id rather not have Iroha her lesbian and the other three lesbians after me

**Yachihoe** : Ui do you need therapy

**not_earoha** : Ui are you okay?

**InvisibleGirl** : Ui are you alright? Do you need to talk to someone?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : ui

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : UI ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU WANT A HUG???!!!

**TheSuperiorHomer** : We are here for you

**moomoomercenary** : do you need food?

**mifuwu** : do you need to see a therapist?

**tsunderena** : love how everyone is panicking over the 11 year old kyubey kin

**Coobie** : Alina made my user basically fucking kyubey what do you think?

**JoJolina** : it's funny

**JoJolina** : alina is peak comedy

**jessie** : I beg to differ, I don't find this funny.

**james** : you go alina

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : I WANT TO AGREE BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME AN APPROPRIATELY MIGHTY USERNAME BUT UI IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE

**Yachihoe** : Me too. Alina I'm coming for you

**BigSisKyouko** : alina gay u better run theyre coming for ur toes

**JoJolina** : tsukuyo where do you live

**missnagitan** Tsukuyo dont tell her.

**Coobie** : Whoops I started a witch hunt. My bad

**jessie** : I'm looking for Tsuruno right now, I can't hide you unfortunately Alina. Also, my grandmother would be very angry with me.

**tsunderena** : i'm just sitting here

**InvisibleGirl** : I think they left me

**JoJolina** : ofc they did ur invisible

**InvisibleGirl** : Iroha where are you I need to ake sure you don't get hurt! Also shut up Alina

**james** : you can't come to mine either sorry alina

**not_earoha** : Im on the porch Sana. Im sorry I thought you were coming

**perpetualmotionmachine** : bruh magius help each other where u at alina gay

**Coobie** : Awww come on Touka

**InvisibleGirl** : Thank you Iroha! Sorry for assuming you guys left without me

**Coobie** : Leave her. For science!

**perpetualmotionmachine** : shit u rite

**JoJolina** : fuck you satomi

**Yachihoe** : We'd never leave without you Futaba-san we're a team

**mifuwu** : alina where r u

**missnagitan** : This is unrelated to our current predicament but does anyone know what happened to the Coordinator and her lover?


	2. Meanwhile, In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The witch hunt continues. (Well, really, it's an artist hunt.) Also, Mifuyu's biggest secret gets leaked, memes are shared, and a mangaka and some girls from Asunaro City show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> potential spoilers for kazumi magica (very, very mild, and only if you squint), jp magireco, and rebellion ahead you have been warned

**JoJolina** : you rlly think im gonna tell you

**tsunderena** : theyre fucking

**Kayaygay** : I think they're having sex probably

**seyiku** : i think so too lmao

**Coobie** : Funny you guys say that

**tsunderena** : you. shut the fuck up.

**Kayaygay** : WHat did we do an hour ago Rena

**JoJolina** : thats gay

**TomoeMommy** : I don't think we needed to know that

**Coobie** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Momotiddy** : We werent having sex relax Kaede. Who knew getting a gf would make you so horny

**tsunderena** : that wasnt just since we started dating

**Kayaygay** : Please shut the fuck up Rena

**chief_lesbian** : sadly i can confirm. i was adjusting her soul gem

**Momotiddy** : ^^

**JoJolina** : sonds pretty kinky to me

**Yachihoe** : Of course it does Alina

**Coobie** : If my sis wont let me then yeah. **kinky**

**jessie** : Yakumo-san adjusts my soul gem and we don't have sex then, but it's Togame-san.(edited)

**perpetualmotionmachine** : sounds kinky to me

**TheSuperiorHomer** : Now we wait for Onee-chan to kill us.

**Momotiddy** : WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO SAY????

**JoJolina** : yall fucked admit it

**chief_lesbian** : hmmmm mixing business and pleasure would be fun~

**tsunderena** : momoko im so proud of you.

**Kayaygay** : Me too. Now we can make fun of you about your gf

**Momotiddy** : Rena are you okay? Is Kaede pointing her staff at your head???

**Momotiddy** : A

**tsunderena** : shut the fuck up i feel like being nice for once and yall step on my fucking feet i cant with yall

**Kayaygay** : Lmao

**seyiku** : western!rena

**BigSisKyouko** : texas!rena

**Coobie** : Hey Nemu why are they stealing our gig?

**TheSuperiorHomer** : What do you mean Ui-chan?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : idfk

**Coobie** : The bickering trio gig

**TheSuperiorHomer** : Because they're the worse versions of us, obviously

**perpetualmotionmachine** : ^

**tsunderean** : shut ur fuck

**Momotiddy** : But are any of you dating?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : ur call ui are we

**Yachihoe** : You are eleven

**JoJolina** : and

**Coobie** : I dunno. I missed a lot while I was trolling and suffering

**chief_lesbian** : being bapy coobie is suffering

**homerunchan** : being meguca is suffering

**seyiku** : being meguca is suffering

**Doka** : ...

**BigSisKyouko** : being meguca is suffering

**Doka** : Why does that feel familiar?

**BigSisKyouko** : idk

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : BEING MEGUCA IS SUFFERING!!!

**InvisibleGirl** : Being meguca is suffering?

**JoJolina** : being alina right now is suffering i can feel mikazukithots hot on my heels

**Doka** : Theres something Im missing isnt there?

**moomoomercenary** : You hurt tsuruno. You deserve to go BOOM

**InvisibleGirl** : ^^ but you also hurt Iroha

**JoJolina** : yeah and?

**JoJolina** : i'm an epic gamer

**not_earoha** : The time you almost killed me ring a bell? And youve hurt all of my teammates

**JoJolina** : one hurt my art, one doesnt matter, one was a VERY GOOD RUMOR, and one is yachihoe nanami so i dont see ur point

**Yachihoe** : Iroha's right, Alina. You're a piece of shit.

**JoJolina** : epic gamer*

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : YOU MADE MY TEAM WORRY ABOUT ME WITH THAT RUMOUR THING

**JoJolina** : oh yes that totally sways me

**JoJolina** : do i care? non

**JoJolina** : TSUKASA where are you

**james** : chores i cant help you

**Coobie** : Go fuck yourself Alina

**JoJolina** : i already do lmao

**chief_lesbian** : 5000 yen says earoha is shocked pikachu face rn

**not_earoha** : Im not? What does that even mean???

**Yachihoe** : She is

**tsunderena** : its a meme u idiot

**not_earoha** : a meme is those picture things right???

**tsunderena** : also alina is horny do u think she doesnt masturbate

**BigSisKyouko** : yea

**InvisibleGirl** : I send you cat memes Iroha

**chief_lesbian** : aww theyre so wholesome~

**chief_lesbian** : momotiddies look!

**Momotiddy** : Its okay Iroha! Youll figure out your phone eventually

**Momotiddy** : And yeah I see Mitama. Thanks

**seyiku** : sana you should show her like. actual memes

**InvisibleGirl** : But I really like cats

**not_earoha** : Whats an actual meme?

**JoJolina sent an image**

[ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/695814282125770845/695837850045776002/SNAA..jpg)

**seyiku** : snaa

**InvisibleGirl** : But... that's me?

**BigSisKyouko** : thats an actual meme iroha

**Coobie** : snaa

**not_earoha** : What??? What is that???

**homerunchan** : snaa

**JoJolina** : ur girlf is a meme gj

**InvisibleGirl** : What is that, why does it look like derpy me

**JoJolina sent an image**

[ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/695814282125770845/695838556626747472/THE_MIGHTY_SIR_UNO.jpg)

**Coobie** : *better

**seyiku** : sernoo

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : WHY AM I A MEME??? IT IS THE MIGHTIEST MEME BUT STILL

**InvisibleGirl** : I feel slightly offended

**tsunderena** : what why r there plushies of mikazuki

**JoJolina** : 50/100 tsuruno yui

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : BE PATIENT ALINA I AM COMING TO FUCK YOU UP AS FAST AS I CAN

**JoJolina** : your fast as you can is still only 50/100

**seyiku** : hey tsuruno want me to lend a hand

**homerunchan** : haha funny whats next head jokes

**TomoeMommy** : What???

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : SURE!!!

**Coobie** : That one went right over her head >:)

**seyiku** : I AM LOSING IT

**BigSisKyouko** : thats my gf

**TomoeMommy** : What are you talking about. Girls explain or it's ribbon time when you two are home

**Coobie** : Like she lost her head?

**Coobie** : kinky

**seyiku** : I AM SHGFHJD CHOKING ON MY DRIN

**homerunchan** : ui is surprisingly funny

**JoJolina** : mami is good with her ribbons alina knows

**Doka** : What did you do to Mami???!!!

**TomoeMommy** : I would not like to discuss this right now I''m baking food for the girls and Nagisa

**Coobie** : Ah yes you gotta take care of your bebe

**JoJolina** : huehuehue

**homerunchan** : flashbacks to when i became satan

**Doka** : Homura??

**Doka** : Is there something you have to tell me???

**homerunchan** : oh shit **homerunchan** : NO MADOKA it's fine it was a joke bc of my power and something that happened a... while ago i never became satan.

**BigSisKyouko** : homucifer 5 blast disks

**Doka** : Is this like the time you called me Madokami?

**homerunchan** : yeah

**seyiku** : nice

**Coobie** : Im not paying for the wall

**homerunchan** : except not really, because you're my goddess madoka

**Coobie** : Im 11 and broke

**Doka** : Awwww Homura

**BigSisKyouko** : im homeless

**Doka** : I love you <3

**homerunchan** : i love you too <3

**Coobie** : And I was a fucking kyubey. Your point?

**JoJolina** : im running from some lesbians i cant pay for the wall sorry

**BigSisKyouko** : i mean i have no fucking money you kyubey kin

**Coobie** : You could steal some like your apples

**BigSisKyouko** : i cant or blueberry will snap my neck and mami will use the ribbons

**seyiku** : damn right

**chief_lesbian** : I would but I have a business to run~

**BigSisKyouko** : tonight i am not in the mood to have several bones broken

**Coobie** : Just dont get caught. Duh

**BigSisKyouko** : I AM ON A DATE WITH SAYAKA FUCK YOU I CANT

**seyiku** : i have money i'll lend a hand in paying for the wall ui

**Yachihoe** : What wall

**mifuwu** : did you guys break something

**chief_lesbian** : They broke their banks its okay mifuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

**seyiku** : we are middle schoolers slash high schoolers we are poor

**chief_lesbian** : Not my failt you cant run a business smh

**Coobie** : Not my fault you got DepressionTM

**JoJolina** : dont you all have deprressionTM

**seyiku** : yeah

**tsunderena** : yeah

**InvisibleGirl** : yeah

**Coobie** : Yep :)

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : I DONT! IM HAPPY

**Yachihoe** : Stop it Tsuruno-chan you're depressed. And didn't I tell you and Futaba-chan that I'd get you therapy?

**moomoomercenary** : Tsuruno come here NOW!

**IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : THIS IS WHY IM AFTER YOU ALINA

**JoJolina** : nani kore

**InvisibleGirl** : How do you not know Alina

**Coobie** : Because the paint fumes kill brain cells. Or its fucking ALINA GAY

**JoJolina** : i am smart excuse you i ran a cult

**perpetualmotionmachine** : bc me and nemu were making sure you didnt start a mass murder

**Coobie** : And the furry kept you guys from selfdestructing

**mifuwu** : i am NOT a furry

**Yachihoe** : She's a furry

**JoJolina** : right

**missnagitan** : Apologies I have been trying to track down the local mangaka but yes Mifuyu is a furry

**missnagitan** : I can confirm this

**JoJolina** : ru talking about fool girl

**mifuwu** : I AM NOT A FURRY.

**moomoomercenary** : LADY IN WHITE IS A FURRY???!!!

**tsunderena** : according to momoko you said nya all the time in middle school

**jessie** : I can confirm this

**mifuwu** : STOP IT

**chief_lesbian** : nya~

**chief_lesbian** : stawp it she says

**mifuwu** : I AM. not a furry

**Yachihoe** : Mifuyu what's this is that the pair of cat ears you left behind when you moved out

**chief_lesbian** : I awm nawt a fuwwy*

**mifuwu** : SHUT UPM MITAMA YAKUMO

**mifuwu** : im not a furry

**JoJolina** : mifuwu chan is a furry come on say owo for us

**missnagitan** : Mifuwu you know I don't like to backstab you but you have to accept your true self. Your doppel is annoying to deal with

**mifuwu** : sorry but no

**Yachihoe** : What has this chat devolved into

**chief_lesbian** : sowwy but owo*

**perpetualmotionmachine** : cmon mifuyu say it or ur kicked out of the magius

**mifuwu** : i dont know what to do here

**Yachihoe** : Just say OwO

**Yachihoe** : Or I'll get Momoko or Tsuruno to send that one image of you a couple years ago with the cat costume on

**THEMIGHTIEST** : YOU GUYS STILL EXIST????

**JoJolina** : wow cant believe yall have resorted to backmail

**perpetualmotionmachine** : well yes but actually no

**mifuwu** : fine owo

**THEMIGHTIEST** : AND WHICH ONE MASTER? I HAVE LIKE 20

**mifuwu** : I DID IT YOU DONT HAVE TO SEND THAT

**chief_lesbian** : UwU

**JoJolina** : mitama is a furry too

**chief_lesbian** : Now im curious

**tsunderena** : me too

**chief_lesbian** : Does this have anything to do with the last time you got adjusted mifuwu?

**Kayaygay** : me 3

**mifuwu** : what?

**mifuwu** : and sTOP CALLING ME THAT

**chief_lesbian** : I think yk what im talking about ;)

**Yachihoe** : It's Mitama she'll never stop

**mifuwu** : no it does Not

**Momotiddy** : ^^

**tsunderena** : i cant believe ur dating her momoko

**tsunderena** : like i actually cant

**Momotiddy** : And only 20 Tsuruno? I have at least 33 of her in cat ears alone

**JoJolina** : well now ik who to come to when mifuyu wont model for me thanks

**Momotiddy** : And youre dating Kaede for the same reasons Rena so shush

**Yachihoe** : Alina we all hate you, do you really think we'll give you that

**Yachihoe** : I mean I showed Iroha and Felicia

**mifuwu** : those are personal

**chief_lesbian** : A grief seed or 100000cc per picture

**tsunderena** : shut up momoko

**Kayaygay** : She's right Rena

**Momotiddy** : THANK YOU

**JoJolina** : hey yachihoe r yall still hunting me down

**JoJolina** : also i would pay that

**Yachihoe** : Yes Alina. As the youth say, we are "coming for your toes".

**missnagitan** : By proxy yes. Currently I am hunting your One fan

**JoJolina** : are you hunting down one of the amanes kanagay

**JoJolina** : that's better than me please continue with that

**JoJolina** : WAIT

**missnagitan** : No, they were too busy watching what I believe is the original Pokémon cartoon

**JoJolina** : KARIN

**JoJolina added phantomthief_magicalkarin to the chat**

**JoJolina** : DO NOT TELL THEM

**missnagitan** : Too late

**JoJolina** : FOOL

**phantomthief_magicalkarin** : what is it senpai

**missnagitan** : Now this leaves you in a situation Alina. One I would like to avoid if I were in your shoes

**JoJolina changed phantomthief_magicalkarin's nickname to FoolGirl**

**FoolGirl** : SHE WAS THREATENING ME

**JoJolina** : no excuses

**THEMIGHTIEST** : SHE WAS??? I THOUGHT THAT WAS MASTERS JOB

**JoJolina** : karin i'm coming for YOUR toes

**chief_lesbian** : Huehuehue

**mifuwu** : that is not a good idea i think kanagi is coming for u

**FoolGirl** : ALINA SENPAI... it's not my fault she threatened to not read kirin what do you think i was supposed to do!!

**missnagitan** : Maybe I am maybe not. Who is to say?

**JoJolina** : NOT TELL HER ANYTHING

**Yachihoe** : A good 2/3 of this chat is trying to kill Alina right now I'm pretty sure

**FoolGirl** : WHY

**tsunderena** : bc she

**tsunderena** : is a murderous cult leader

**Coobie** : Now i understand Toukas superiority complex smh

**perpetualmotiomachine** : im not neither is nemu or ui

**perpetualmotionmachine** : shut the Fuck up ui

**Coobie** : Make me >:)

**FoolGirl** : alina senpai ;;__;

**THEMIGHTIEST** : LATE BUT SHE ALSO WANTS TO KILL FELICIA AND I DONT LIKE THAT SO I GOTTA KILL HER FIRST

**JoJolina** : alina wants to kill your entire group, yui tsuruno

**JoJolina** : alina hates every single member of it

**Yachihoe** : That's bold for someone within stabbing range

**TomoeMommy** : WHAT IS HAPPENING

**TomoeMommy** : Murder is illegal, guys! Even if Alina committed murder.

**seyiku** : mami

**seyiku** : Mami Tomoe Senpai.

**BigSisKyouko** : you committed a murder too

**seyiku** : we all have

**seyiku** : i have killed many men does oktavia ring a bell

**Doka** : Leave Mami senpai alone! It's not her fault

**Doka** : And who?

**homerunchan** : mfw

**BigSisKyouko** : riight sayaka. Right.

**seyiku** : NO ONE

**homerunchan** : witch head ass

**Doka** : But Sayaka isnt a witch???

**perpetualmotionmachine** : if this is what i think it is? then this is why we have doppels, fellas

**seyiku** : never mind madoka chan this doesnt concern you

**homerunchan** : madoka do you remember the timelines

**Doka** : :'(

**homerunchan** : that i told you about once

**Doka** : You told me about them once I think?

**homerunchan** : yeah

**homerunchan** : Yeah.

**homerunchan** : anyways im almost at yours and i have cake and vodka so we can cuddle and plan murder

**Doka** : Sure :)

**BigSisKyouko** : kinda ship it

**homerunchan** : i ship kyosaya  


**Coobie** : I want vodka :(

**Coobie** : Oh right fuck Irohas here

**Yachihoe** : You're eleven

**Coobie** : This never happened

**Coobie** : And your point?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : i gotchu bro

**TheSuperiorHomer** : I'd prefer you didn't drink Ui

**TheSuperiorHomer** : Touka do not encourage her

**perpetualmotionmachine** : no

**missnagitan** : Minors should not be drinking. Homura I can allow since she is likely mentally 20 at minimum but thats it

**homerunchan** : hell yeah

**Coobie** : But we need to drink to live

**Yachihoe** : My girlfriend means alcohol

**Coobie** : Your point?

**perpetualmotionmachine** : who says we can't drink And be eleven

**TheSuperiorHomer** : The law

**perpetualmotionmachine** : OH SINCE WHEN HAS THE LAW STOPPED YOU NEMU

**Coobie** : She has a point

**Coobie** : Since when has the law stopped any of us?

**Coobie** : SHIT

**Coobie** : Im glad Sana exists this is a psa

**InvisibleGirl** : Thank you

**JoJolina** : why

**Coobie** : Because if Iroha wasnt sucking face shed see this

**tsunderena** : 1000 yen says iroha almost committed a murder.

**tsunderena** : even better

**chief_lesbian** : 10000 says she did

**InvisibleGirl** : Iroha will probably be checking her phone soon though

**Yachihoe** : Or I could just tell her

**Kayaygay** : This'll be amusing

**Coobie** : Do it you wont

**Yachihoe** : I will

**missnagitan** : I don't believe that will go well Yachiyo-chan

**Yachihoe** : like Sana-chan said she'll probably be checking her phone soon so I won't bother

**TomoeMommy** : Hey, can I add a couple of my friends? They're not from Kamihama or Mitakihara

**chief_lesbian** : Sure! Id love to have more customers

**TomoeMommy** : Okay

**TomoeMommy added kazumeme, thebetternemu, and NoHands to the chat**

**TheSuperiorHomer** : WHO

**thebetternemu** : Misaki Umika. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hiiragi-chan.

**THEMIGHTIEST** : WAIT IS THAT KAZUMI

**kazumeme** : HIIII TSURUNO CHAN!

**THEMIGHTIEST** : KAZUMI-CHAN!!!!!!

**kazumeme** : WHAT IS UP MY FOOD FRIEND (✿◠‿◠)

**NoHands** : Thanks for the invite no head :)

**TomoeMommy** : what ??

**homerunchan** : lmao

**seyiku** : hey no hands is my thing

**THEMIGHTIEST** : NOT MUCH WERE HUNTING A MEAN ART GIRL! YOU WANNA HELP?

**kazumeme** : YEAH!!!

**NoHands** : You only lost one

**NoHands** : If you want my nickname you have to fite me >:)

**kazumeme** : can umika chan and kaoru chan come too? there's nothing to do in asunaro rn and itll only take like 2 minutes to get to kamihama

**THEMIGHTIEST** : SURE!!!

**seyiku** : the internet has given it to me partway

**thebetternemu** : I have writer's block right now so yes I'll come. Are we hunting Alina?

**NoHands** : The internet doesnt count. And Im down!

**TheSuperiorHomer** : Misaki can we have a talk when you get to Kamihama?

**THEMIGHTIEST** : YEP!

**thebetternemu** : no

**Coobie** : Oh no the girls are fighting :)

**thebetternemu** : And sounds good I don't like her

**kazumeme** : anyways i forgot to introduce myself!! im subaru kazumi (>‿◠)

**NoHands** : And Im Maki Kaoru

**Yachihoe** : Hello I am back. Hello, Misaki-chan and Maki-chan, it's nice to see you again

**NoHands** : If you make a Maki roll joke I will canonball your head

**seyiku** : ok makiroll

**seyiku** : jk thats just for suzune

**NoHands** : Not yours itll just grow back

**thebetternemu** : Hello Nanami-san. We're coming to help you kill Alina.

**THEMIGHTIEST** : WAIT! THIS MEANS YOU GUYS WILL GET TO MEET MY GF THIS TIME :))))))

**kazumeme** : i think she's scared

**kazumeme** : and OWO???

**NoHands** : As she should be :)

**thebetternemu** : Stop OwOing, that's Satomi-chan's thing

**NoHands** : AND WAIT SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A GF???!!!

**perpetualmotionmachine** : i do not owo

**thebetternemu** : I am so excited to meet her, Tsuruno-chan!

**NoHands** : Wrong Satomi

**NoHands** : Although Idk who is the better one here when youre both bastards

**kazumeme** : that's mean to usagi-chan

**kazumeme** : i love all of my teammates :3

**THEMIGHTIEST** : SINCE I DUNNO BUT SHES GREAT AND SHE SAYS SHES EXCITED TO MEET YOU TOO EVEN IF SHE WONT TEXT IT BECAUSE SHES EMBARRASSED

**NoHands** : She tried to KILL you

**kazumeme** : and? you know what i used to be

**Yachihoe** : This is unrelated but Karin-chan and Alina have been strangely inactive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two of hell this was all written at like 7am  
> also i had to research another daze to make a good half of this yall r welcome
> 
> nicknames:  
> iroha- not_earoha  
> yachiyo- Yachihoe  
> rena- tsunderena  
> momoko- Momotiddy  
> kaede- Kayaygay  
> tsuruno- THEMIGHTIEST  
> felicia- moomoomercenary  
> sana- InvisibleGirl  
> madoka- Doka  
> homura- homerunchan  
> sayaka- seyiku  
> kyouko- BigSisKyouko  
> mami- TomoeMommy  
> alina- JoJolina  
> touka- perpetualmotionmachine  
> nemu- TheSuperiorHomer  
> mifuyu- mifuwu  
> kanagi- missnagitan  
> tsukuyo- jessie  
> tsukasa- james  
> ui- coobie  
> mitama- chief_lesbian  
> karin- FoolGirl  
> kazumi- kazumeme  
> umika- thebetternemu  
> kaoru- NoHands


	3. Is hunting a magical girl still considered a 'witch hunt'?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls are still on the hunt for a psycho artist, who seems to have strange taste in ships. Cult bullshit is revealed, and this go around, there's plenty of sex talk. This only serves to fuel the kill-Alina agenda even more.
> 
> Seriously, I don't think anyone knows who's after her at this point.
> 
> Also Ui is still lacking a will to live. Can someone please fix that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoiler warning for magireco but we knew that here.

**mifuwu** : don't ask me because i don't know

 **Coobie** : Not human squad goals

 **kazumeme** : not human squad goals

 **kazumeme** : who the fuck is kazusa michiru

 **Coobie** : Id drink to that

 **missnagitan** : You are ELEVEN

 **Coobie** : Your point?

 **Yachihoe** : Kanagi I know you've had alcohol before

 **mifuwu** : me2

 **tsunderena** : oooh

 **TomoeMommy** : Yui-san I didn't know you knew Kazumi-chan!

 **kazumeme** : HI SENPAI

 **missnagitan** : I am from Daito that's unfortunately a given. I was however not ELEVEN

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : YEAH! KAZUMI-CHAN IS A SUPPORTER OF BONBONZAI

 **kazumeme** : IT IS VERY GOOD FOOD

 **JoJolina** : i beg to differ

 **Yachihoe** : She appears

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : YOU HURT FELICIA THEREFORE YOUR OPINION IS NOT VALID

 **FoolGirl** : but that isn't nice to senpai :(

 **missnagitan** : I am afraid no one shares your views on Alina Gray

 **Yachihoe** : My girlfriend is right

 **FoolGirl** : but senpai is nice to me and she helps me get better at art!! even though she never says i do

 **seyiku** : wow alina being nice? never heard of it

 **missnagitan** : That does little for the bad blood we have towards her in this little sliver of hell

 **NoHands** : I dont know the gal but Ill take Tsuruno-chan on her word

 **FoolGirl** : oh ok :(

 **Coobie** : She robbed my innocence

 **JoJolina** : youre just gonna oh ok that huh karin

 **Coobie** : The things she did to the furry still haunt me

 **JoJolina** : ui you are an alcoholic you cannot talk

 **mifuwu** : dont worry they haunt me too

 **Coobie** : Why do you think I am? HUH?

 **chief_lesbian** : dont wowwy they hawunt me twooo*

 **mifuwu** : especially when karin showed up

 **FoolGirl** : ... that helped me draw girls better

 **JoJolina** : heehee

 **missnagitan** : Alina what did you do to Kairin?

 **JoJolina** : helped her learn how to draw the female body??

 **mifuwu** : yeah it was more than that

 **missnagitan** : How so?

 **Coobie** : They fucked Kanagay

 **FoolGirl** : uh

 **JoJolina** : ui got it

 **missnagitan** : I see...

 **JoJolina** : it was very fun

 **NoHands** : Yo Mami how exactly did you end up in her cult again?

 **TomoeMommy** : Brainwashing and also manipulation

 **seyiku** : it was fun. she almost killed me.

 **Doka** : I... Sayaka...

 **Doka** : Homura can you bring extra vodka?

 **homerunchan** : on it

 **kazumeme** : senpai ;;

 **Coobie** : So thats acceptable but me drinking isnt???? What is this???

 **thebetternemu** : I'm no longer proud of you

 **thebetternemu** : Also, from what I've gathered, you're eleven and Homura-san is much older.

 **NoHands** : I dunno at least she didnt have sex with the local psycho. At least I think she didnt. Mami did you fuck Alina?

 **Coobie** : Not her. Madoka

 **TomoeMommy** : ...

 **Coobie** : And before you pull the goddess card not here

 **TomoeMommy** : How much respect would I lose if I said yes

 **Coobie** : Madokami cant touch us here

 **JoJolina** : she has nice boobs ok

 **Doka** : ??????

 **homerunchan** : ui

 **seyiku** : yeah madokami cant touch us here

 **seyiku** : also i dont know

 **NoHands** : Hey Tsuruno-chan I know you want her head but can I cannonball it first? Please?

 **Coobie** : Homucifer

 **TomoeMommy** : It's fine. I didn't mind.

 **seyiku** : you were fucking brainwashed mami

 **JoJolina** : touka x tsuruno

 **Yachihoe** : WTF

 **NoHands** : I dont think brainwashing is consensual???

 **homerunchan** : what is it kyubey. what is it.

 **NoHands** : And what the hell Tsuruno-chan! You too???

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : she's 6 years older than me that's disgusting

 **Coobie** : Yes?

 **TomoeMommy** : Whatever it doesn't matter anymore to me Maki-san

 **TomoeMommy** : I have my girlfriends now so it's okay

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! AND IF I DID I WAS ALSO BRAINWASHED

 **JoJolina** : lmao

 **BigSisKyouko** : killing alina

 **NoHands** : Wait? How many people coupled up without me knowing???

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : alina is just weird she reads real person fanfic and idk why she'd ship that

 **missnagitan** : Get in line Kyouko-chan

 **Coobie** : Do I need to send the lennyface?

 **BigSisKyouko** : how many people are killing alina anyway

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : UI. UI. I CANNOT.

 **Coobie** : I love you too

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : I think Alina secretly ships it

 **JoJolina** : yeah

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : AND THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS

 **JoJolina** : but none of the mikazuki house is good looking so like i didnt try anything on them dw. besides im not that bad. i ask for consent pls

 **InvisibleGirl** : Thank you

 **Yachihoe** : Still killing you

 **Coobie** : Tf did you say about my sister bitch

 **kazumeme** : you touched senpai im killing you too

 **JoJolina** : hey at least she can be her girlfriend's first time once they do it

 **Coobie** : Once? Dont make me laugh

 **Coobie** : They fucked during the apocalypse

 **InvisibleGirl** : ...

 **seyiku** : irosana fucked during the apocalypse

 **JoJolina** : i didnt know that lmao

 **missnagitan** : That explains a lot actually

 **JoJolina** : jeez though who here is still a virgin anyway

 **homerunchan** : madoka

 **InvisibleGirl** : How does that explain anything, Izumi-san?

 **Coobie** : Me unless you count the plot fucking me over

 **Doka** : ...

 **homerunchan** : madoka have we done it? no. we have not done it. unless you want to.

 **seyiku** : i am glad you have kept her pure

 **TomoeMommy** : Me too

 **Coobie** : And thats the difference between her and my sister. Glad we got that figured out

 **NoHands** : Id say I was in the virgin squad but Id be lying

 **NoHands** : Far as I know Kazumi is though

 **kazumeme** : you would be right saki and i are not at that stage yet

 **NoHands** : Good. Otherwise she would be getting these hands

 **kazumeme** : we've only been dating for a few weeks

 **kazumeme** : also i didn't know umika chan lost her v card ?? umika ??

 **thebetternemu** : yeah NoHands: ...

 **NoHands** : Whos telling her

 **kazumeme** : you are my best friends i know what happens at midnight between you two

 **kazumeme** : i cannot sleep

 **NoHands** : I thought you could sleep through a nuke on a full stomach???

 **thebetternemu** : Kaoru, I don't know what to say

 **kazumeme** : I USUALLY CAN

 **kazumeme** : i was reading manga and i heard noises

 **JoJolina** : all of the eleven year olds have not done the deed yet

 **Coobie** : From one not so innocent smol bean to another. What kinds of noises?

 **JoJolina** : fortunately or unfortunately

 **Coobie** : And like i said the plot fucking me over basically counts

 **kazumeme** : it was weirdly loud and it sounded like one of them was crying

 **kazumeme** : i think i know what it was.

 **NoHands** : Umika stubbed her toe

 **thebetternemu** : kaoru i think she figured it out sorry

 **NoHands** : Wheres the lie?

 **thebetternemu** : what lie

 **JoJolina** : i ship it.

 **NoHands** : Exactly

 **kazumeme** : fine then

 **NoHands** : You stubbed your toe... while doing other things

 **thebetternemu** : Yes. I stubbed my toe while doing other things.

 **Coobie** : I can feel the salt from here

 **TomoeMommy** : How old are you guys again

 **NoHands** : 5 :)

 **TomoeMommy** : I don't trust that

 **Yachihoe** : I don't think I do either

 **Yachihoe** : Am I still the oldest one here?

 **missnagitan** : Most likely

 **mifuwu** : we're the same age yacchan

 **missnagitan** : I believe the three of us are the only adults here

 **NoHands** : Probably yeah :)

 **JoJolina** : yeah

 **JoJolina** : cant believe i made a cult when i was sixteen

 **Coobie** : Cant believe I became an alien genie at 11

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : We became magical girls at a younger age than Nanami or Mifuyu did.

 **Yachihoe** : I am eight years older than you

 **Coobie** : Ok boomer

 **Yachihoe** : I don't like that

 **Coobie** : You werent supposed to

 **tsunderena** : im pretty sure everyone has called you a boomer at some point nanami

 **mifuwu** : she is mentally a boomer

 **chief_lesbian** : well yes but actually no

 **chief_lesbian** : mifuwu has called her a bwoomer

 **chief_lesbian** : and a bOwOmer

 **mifuwu** : that is the worst thing i have ever heard

 **Kayaygay** : It's Mitama every word that comes out of her mouth is cursed

 **NoHands** : I think you mean best

 **kazumeme** : ^^^

 **NoHands** : If Umika would actually trust me with money Id go to her shop

 **NoHands** : Which is probably why she doesnt :)

 **thebetternemu** : Yes exactly. I do not trust you OR Kazumi with money.

 **kazumeme** : because i buy random stuff i do not need with it and we all know that

 **NoHands** : Hey I was the one against killing her you know

 **NoHands** Oh wait

 **Coobie** : Illiterate squad

 **thebetternemu** : What

 **seyiku** : i see. mami has good choice in friends

 **NoHands** : Thought you said you didnt trust me with the child

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : THIS IS AN UPDATE WE MAY HAVE FOUND HER

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : OR AT LEAST A PAINTING. I DUNNO FELICIA CRUSHED IT TO DUST BEFORE I COULD SEE!

 **InvisibleGirl** : Iroha said that she feels a bit of Alina's magic coming from the painting

 **Yachihoe** : I TOLD Felicia not to touch it

 **JoJolina** : SHE WHAT

 **kazumeme** : okay i'm in kamihama where are you guys

 **thebetternemu** : Probably in Sakae

 **moomoomercenary** : I went SLAM woth my hammer on your painting witch lady

 **Coobie** : She returns

 **JoJolina** : killing you brb

 **FoolGirl** : i am so sorry alina

 **FoolGirl** : it's kind of mean to destroy someone else's art though felicia-chan

 **moomoomercenary** : No it isnt WHATS MEAN IS PROTECTING WITCHES

 **JoJolina** : IT WAS FOR MY CULT

 **JoJolina** : BESIDES THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL

 **moomoomercenary** : THEY KILL PEOPLE

 **Coobie** : Carl that kills people

 **seyiku** : i like that meme

 **JoJolina** : AND KILLING PEOPLE IS FINE

 **JoJolina** : MAY I REMIND YOU WE WERE TRYING TO SAVE YOU HOES

 **moomoomercenary** : I DONT CARE ABOUT BEING SAVED I CARE ABOUT KILLING WITCHES

 **JoJolina** : BUT WE WERE GOING TO KILL THEM ANYWAY WE WERE TRYING TO FEED EVE

 **Coobie** : Ah yes because I was hungry

 **InvisibleGirl** : You almost killed my girlfriend Alina

 **Coobie** : This is why I ended up as coobie

 **InvisibleGirl** : I don't think I ever got to thank you, Sakura-san

 **BigSisKyouko** : youre welcome snaa

 **JoJolina** : I SAVED YOUR LIFE UI

 **JoJolina** : UR ASS WAS BOUTTA BECOME A WITCH

 **Coobie** : ...

 **Coobie** : What gave you the impression I wanted to live?

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : sister

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : Onee-chan wished for you to live for a reason, Ui

 **Coobie** : You had to play that card didnt you

 **NoHands** : Wait Mami is that the child you adopted?

 **NoHands** : Cause didnt you say something about them being grumpy

 **TomoeMommy** : What?

 **TomoeMommy** : I didn't adopt Tamaki-san

 **NoHands** : Did you not adopt the child you were babysitting?

 **NoHands** : Am I just dumb?

 **NoHands** : Dont answer that Umika

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : Yeah I did Ui

 **thebetternemu** : You're dumb Kaoru

 **Coobie** >:(

 **TomoeMommy** : Oh, you're thinking of Nagisa-chan

 **NoHands** : I SAID DONT ANSWER THAT

 **NoHands** : Ah

 **TomoeMommy** : Yeah, I adopted her! She's a sweetheart

 **TomoeMommy** : She's a lot like Ui-chan actually

 **thebetternemu** : Kazumi was going to if I didn't

 **Coobie** : Then shes not. Now I see why you were the one who got culted

 **NoHands** : She would never

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : ui fr we are trying our hardest

 **kazumeme** : oh really kaoru

 **kazumeme** : you're actually right i wouldn't you're my friend

 **NoHands** : And this is why youre loved Kazumi

 **Coobie** : Ik

 **Coobie** : I still want vodka and the void though

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : dont let earoha hear you say that

 **kazumeme** : i know :3

 **Coobie** : Shes either sucking face or had a heart attack and is in the hospital its fine

 **Yachihoe** : The former, probably

 **Yachihoe** : Her and Sana-chan went off on their own

 **JoJolina** : where are they?

 **Yachihoe** : You really think I'd tell you

 **Coobie** : And its the apocalypse all over again

 **seyiku** : irosana is fucking right now

 **BigSisKyouko** : wb tsurufeli are they still going murder mode

 **Yachihoe** : They also went off on their own so I can't say.

 **Coobie** : Everyone fucking during the apocalypse

 **Yachihoe** : I am currently alone right now which is not a good thing. Mifuyu? Kanagi? Where are you?

 **mifuwu** : shinsei

 **seyiku** : everyone fucking during the apocalypse

 **kazumeme** : that doesnt sound child friendly

 **NoHands** : To be fair nothing in this chat has

 **kazumeme** : ur right

 **Coobie** : Ironically Im one of the least child frendly here :)

 **mifuwu** : i don't think any of the eleven year olds here are

 **Yachihoe** : She's right

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : and we have kyouko sakura and alina gray and mitama yakumo here.

 **chief_lesbian** : You called ;)

 **NoHands** : The anti virgin everyone

 **JoJolina** : hello, other horny person

 **tsunderena** : wheres ur gf

 **chief_lesbian** : Recovering

 **NoHands** : Oh she has a gf?

 **tsunderena** : momoko

 **thebetternemu** : Why, Kaoru? Did you want to cheat on me?

 **NoHands** : I value my life so no

 **tsunderena** : also i just realized what recovering probably meant

 **NoHands** : Besides I would never do that to my love :)

 **Kayaygay** : Yay, finally something to tease Momoko about!

 **thebetternemu** : love u too bitch

 **chief_lesbian** : Huehuehue

 **JoJolina** : huehuehue

 **seyiku** : whered you guys get that from

 **homerunchan** : probably another universe

 **NoHands** : A girl who looks like Saki

 **kazumeme** : i gotta see this

 **chief_lesbian** : Huehuehue

 **homerunchan** : apparently she was me from what i am gathering here

 **thebetternemu** : We get it, Kazumi. You're gay for your girlfriend.

 **kazumeme** : mirai is on my ass constantly about it too

 **Doka** : But theres only one of you Homura

 **Doka** : Youre one in a trillion

 **NoHands** : Her problem not yours

 **kazumeme** : i love mirai but if she would stop trying to get my girl that'd be nice

 **homerunchan** : thank you madoka :)

 **Doka** : <3

 **homerunchan** : the multiverse is a bit odd though

 **Coobie** : God is a woman

 **homerunchan** : but you're the only madoka i need

 **homerunchan** : you are my goddess

 **seyiku** : flashbacks

 **Coobie** : Nam time

 **JoJolina** : not paying for the wall

 **JoJolina** : also touka do you know anything about multiverses

 **chief_lesbian** : I still have to run my business and be gay

 **Coobie** : Do you Touka?

 **perpetualmotionachine** : i know they exist but i don't know what's inside them

 **Coobie** : Feels good to be the only 11 year old with rights

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : Ui you know

 **BigSisKyouko** : nagisa does

 **seyiku** : it's scary

 **Coobie** : I have a friend with rights? Would she drink with me too?

 **NoHands** : Not unless she wants Mami to kill you both

 **TomoeMommy** : Nagisa isn't allowed to drink even if she wants to

 **TomoeMommy** : And what are these 'rights' you're talking about

 **Coobie** : Things the headless and madokami dont have

 **seyiku** : nice

 **TomoeMommy** : What?

 **homerunchan** : nice

 **Coobie** : That went over your head didnt it?

 **BigSisKyouko** : nice

 **Coobie** : 69

 **JoJolina** : nice

 **NoHands** : nice

 **BigSisKyouko** : now all we need is some weed

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : BLAZE IT

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : ALSO SORRY I WAS GONE FELICIA AND I WERE IN COMBAT

 **Yachihoe** : I am surprised that you know of that Tsuruno

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : WHY WOULDNT I MASTER?

 **Yachihoe** : No reason

 **Yachihoe** : And who were you and Felicia-chan fighting?

 **Yachihoe** : It's hard to look for both you and Irosana at the same time

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : ...

 **Yachihoe** : Was it Alina

 **FoolGirl** : oh no!!!

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : No

 **Yachihoe** : Then who was it.

 **Yachihoe** : I kind of need this information

 **JoJolina** : yeah who was it

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : I CANT TELL YOU

 **Yachihoe** : Why not? Will I get mad?

 **JoJolina** : this is amusing

 **kazumeme** : tea sis

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : PROBABLY?

 **Coobie** : Everyone fucking during the apocalypse

 **Yachihoe** : Can you please tell me Yui Tsuruno

 **tsunderena** : they were probably fighting a witch or somethng

 **Kayaygay** : Doubt Yachiyo would get mad at that

 **BigSisKyouko** : bet they were fighting the flute freaks

 **Yachihoe** : I won't be mad if it's the Amanes

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : NOPE THAT WOULDNT BE AN ISSUE! IM THE MIGHTIEST AFTER ALL

 **Yachihoe** : I know that

 **Yachihoe** : Now can you please tell me

 **Coobie** : //careless whisper intensifies

 **kazumeme** : why

 **seyiku** : im admittedly curious to who they were fighting

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : UI-CHAN ITS NOT LIKE THAT

 **Coobie** : Isnt it though >:)

 **Yachihoe** : Were you two doing the deed?

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : ...

 **Yachihoe** : I'm not mad I just want to know

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : WHAT DEED?

 **Yachihoe** : I know Iroha and Sana do sometimes it's okay

 **Coobie** : 24/7

 **InvisibleGirl** : NO NOT 24/7!!!

 **Coobie** : I swear they never sleep

 **Yachihoe** : I'm pretty sure Sana's having an aneurysm. I say pretty sure because I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE TWO OF THEM ARE.

 **not_earoha** : Im back sorry about that. Should I backread?

 **seyiku** : yes

 **InvisibleGirl** : Probably not

 **Yachihoe** : If you want

 **not_earoha** : Those are 3 very different answers

 **Coobie** : You probably shouldnt. Your funeral though sis :)

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : onee chan is going to have a stroke

 **not_earoha** : Thats??? Not comforting???

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : ik

 **kazumeme** : are you tsuruno's friend???

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : IROHA IS

 **kazumeme** : you told me about her

 **kazumeme** : its so nice to meet you im kazumi!!

 **not_earoha** : Its nice to meet you too Kazumi-chan. Are you a friend of Tsuruno's?

 **kazumeme** : yeah!!!!! she gave me food it was really nice!!!

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : AND SHE LIKED IT :)

 **JoJolina** : kazumi has no sense of taste ig

 **kazumeme** : yes i do youre mean

 **NoHands** : Back off or I WILL cannonball you

 **JoJolina** : like 20 other people want me dead youre gonna have to do better maki

 **kazumeme** : tsuruno chan can too cook !!!

 **IMTHEMIGHTIEST** : THANKS KAZUMI-CHAN

 **kazumeme** : just saying facts uwu

 **mifuwu** : that's my thing

 **missnagitan** : I'm glad to see you accepted yourself Mifuyu

 **mifuwu** : after i was so harshly decloseted

 **missnagitan** : At least now you can be yourself

 **mifuwu** : youre right

 **JoJolina** : dw mifuyu you're still the perfect body

 **missnagitan** : She has two girlfriends Alina back off

 **JoJolina** : no fuck you

 **Yachihoe** : Even more reason to kill you.

 **missnagitan** : Fucking me isn't your job Alina. I have two wonderful ladies for that

 **JoJolina** : yeah my job is running a cult and making sexy art

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : your cult doesn't exist anymore alina

 **homerunchan** : being meguca is no longer suffering in kamehameha city

 **Doka** : I dont get it

 **Coobie** : Being meduka is suffering

 **JoJolina** : and my cult did that yall better be proud of us

 **missnagitan** : I dont believe that is a question you want answered

 **JoJolina** : yeah you all want me dead i know

 **Yachihoe** : Why do you think we are hunting you down?

 **Coobie** : Because youre all big brain and havent thought of the obvious

 **Yachihoe** : I meant me. Irosana and Tsurufeli are MIA and 3/7 of the pleiades are probably lost

 **Yachihoe** : What do you mean Ui?

 **JoJolina** : i can never understand the 11yos yall shouldnt either

 **Coobie** : You think Im telling you? This is more entertainment than Ive had since the apocalypse

 **THEMIGHTIEST** : DONT WORRY MASTER WE ARE A OKAY!

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : im with ui and i can confirm she is Living

 **Coobie** : For once

 **not_earoha** : Ui please tell me this is a joke

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : nemu is being boring as fuck though

 **Coobie** : My life or what Ive been saying?

 **perpetualmotionmachine** : bitchs fucking reading

 **NoHands** : Surprised shes not out for Umikas blood :)

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : Shut the fuck up Touka. Also, Ui's life has always been a joke, Onee-chan.

 **NoHands** : And where tf is 'Daito'

 **TheSuperiorHomer** : I do not care about Misaki at the moment

 **not_earoha** : :(

 **thebetternemu** : Google Maps is our friend, Kaoru

 **thebetternemu** : Also, where did Kazumi go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a week between updates what a sin. in my defense i was reading hanako and prepping for the next chapter so there will be new content soon fellas.
> 
> also, let's talk. na geese uh just got announced and i cry. i want her but im broke from coolmura who i also didnt get im :(  
> fuck na tempo
> 
> not posting the nicknames. dear readers, you should know who is who.
> 
> if there's any characters you want me to add or have more of just comment it folks! i need new recs

**Author's Note:**

> okay so me back at it again with probably ooc shit. me and my friend (13Iamlucky13) decided to write this together and it was pretty fun, and she said i could post some of it. so magireco and meguca shenanigan time.
> 
> nicknames:  
> iroha- not_earoha  
> yachiyo- Yachihoe  
> rena- tsunderena  
> momoko- Momotiddy  
> kaede- Kayaygay  
> tsuruno- THEMIGHTIEST  
> felicia- moomoomercenary  
> sana- InvisibleGirl  
> madoka- Doka  
> homura- homerunchan  
> sayaka- seyiku  
> kyouko- BigSisKyouko  
> mami- TomoeMommy  
> alina- JoJolina  
> touka- perpetualmotionmachine  
> nemu- TheSuperiorHomer  
> mifuyu- mifuwu  
> kanagi- missnagitan  
> tsukuyo- jessie  
> tsukasa- james  
> ui- coobie  
> mitama- chief_lesbian


End file.
